Advice for what you should study in high school in order to succeed in college often focuses on pursuing accomplishments that look good on a resume—such as AP classes, academic honors, and extracurricular activities—or acquiring hard skills, such as computer programming, that appear to be in demand on the job market. While these may be helpful components of a competitive college application, the most important thing you can do in high school to equip yourself to excel in college is to cultivate the soft skills that are necessary in any walk of life.

Learn to Ask Questions

You've probably heard the saying that there's no such thing as a bad question. As with many proverbs, this is only a half-truth, but it conveys a compelling message—don't be afraid to ask a question because of how you think it will make you look to others. If there's something you don't know, chances are that another student is just as confused as you are and will appreciate your willingness to speak up.

That said, there are some rules of thumb that will help you to ask better questions and know when to ask them. Don't ask questions that you already know the answer to just to make yourself "look good"— it only makes you look pretentious. Don't ask questions intentionally framed to waste time or side-track the class. If you have a question that's only tangentially related to the lesson, write and down and ask your teacher later if it still seems important. Don't use your questions to argue with your teacher about whether their subject is important enough to study or whether your grades are deserved—if you have personal concerns about the class, raise them politely in a one-on-one setting rather than in front of other students.

Do ask questions to clarify terms or ideas in a lecture that are confusing to you. Chances are, you're not the only one who is lost because you don't know what "ontological" means. Do ask questions to make connections between the topic at hand and previous classes. Your teachers will appreciate the opportunity to provide contextual information that helps you to understand. Do ask questions about how what you're learning might change the way you understand the world today—it shows that you care about applying your studies to the rest of your life.

No one can learn without seeking answers that they don't already know. And teachers cannot read your mind to figure out what pieces of the puzzle you are missing. So don't be afraid to pipe up in class with a question—your teachers will appreciate your humility and desire to learn!

Learn to Self-Start

Stuck on a math problem? Unsure about how to format an MLA citation? Finding an assigned reading difficult because there's some vocabulary words you don't know?

While your teachers would be able to help you with these kinds of practical problems, your first instinct should be to look for answers yourself when doing your homework. Look back at the math lesson in your textbook and compare your problem to the example that you studied in class. Google "MLA citations" to find examples of how to cite the kind of source you're using. Pull out a dictionary to look up new vocabulary terms in your reading. If you're still stuck after making your best effort, then of course you should feel comfortable asking your teachers for help. But you might just discover that the solution to your problem is easy to find—as long as you make the attempt to look for it.

The same advice applies to studying when you don't have any specific homework assignments due. If you have extra time during a study hall, use it to review your notes for your most challenging class or make flashcards in preparation for the next test. When assignments pile up later on during the school year, you'll be glad you worked ahead.

Ultimately, the ability to find answers on your own and use your time profitably will become more critical as you get older and assignments become more open-ended. In college, for example, your professors won't be available to you all the time, and your main assignment might be a term paper due at the end of the semester. If you can figure out now how to problem-solve on your own and make progress toward long-term assignments without someone else setting regular due dates for you, you will be well on your way to success in college.

Learn to Be Efficient

Your parents are right—as busy as you are now, life will only get busier as you grow older and take on more responsibility. That's OK as long as you steadily learn to make more efficient use of your time. Luckily, high school gives you plenty of opportunities to figure out now what techniques help you to be most productive.

For now, your main goal should be to figure out what kind of schedule that works for you. Is it easiest for you to study in the morning, after school, or in the evening? Do you work better in a study hall, at home in your room, or with friends in a coffee shop? Are particular kinds of work easier to do at different times? Everyone will have a different answer to these questions, and having a sense of how you learn best will give you a head start on many of your peers when college gives you more freedom to set the schedule you choose.

You should also begin to think intentionally about how to balance competing priorities. If you're not sure where to start, begin by using something like the Eisenhower Matrix to categorize your "To Do" list. Every task is either urgent or not urgent and either important or not important. Anything that's both not urgent and unimportant can be safely set aside to free up time in your schedule. Tasks that are both urgent and important should always take priority over the others.

Learn to Speak with Confidence

As someone who once had a fear of public speaking, I get it—standing up in front of others can be intimidating, especially if you don't think of yourself as naturally charismatic. But anyone can learn to be a competent speaker, and everyone will need to speak well at some point in their lives. Whether it's a college or job interview, a class presentation, or a business report in a future job, you will have to communicate to others at some point in your life, and your ability to present will matter.

For now, start small. Practice asking questions in class and volunteering to answer questions that your teacher asks, even if you're not completely sure of your answer. If your school has a speech club, consider joining and at least learning the basics—you may decide that you don't enjoy it enough to pursue competitive success, but the practice will help you to grow in confidence. If you are collaborating on a group project, volunteer to be the student who presents it to the class.

As nerve-wracking as some of these situations might seem to you, they are all low-stakes. Once you've graduated, no one will remember whether said "um" in your class presentation on the Civil War. This is the best opportunity in your life to practice confidence in front of a crowd—use it!

Learn to Grow from Failure

Mistakes are a part of life. You will make them—probably often—if you are pursuing activities or classes that challenge you. Sometimes, you will even fail in more serious ways, not just by making mistakes, but also by intentionally choosing to do (or not do) something when you know that it's not right.

Embrace the valuable role that these failures, small and large, have to play in helping you to become a better person. Know that you are not alone in experiencing the disappointment, shame, and regret that come with failure. Do you best to own up to poor decisions, address your shortcomings, and accept unfavorable circumstances that come your way.

Ultimately, learning is for the sake of life, not just success. But, if can learn from your failures to grow into a better, more resilient person, you will also find your path in college much easier.